I am a woman and I game. This makes me as rare as a truly happy
moment in Game of Thrones. I choose to do this with a full face of makeup, high
heels, and most often a dress. This usually stands out from the crowd. Why do I
mention this? Because today was the Gamer’s Garage Sale at Imperial Outpost. I
had a damn good time and 98% of the people including Darren the owner were
sweet, kind and treated me normally. Two were jerks.
When I come up to you with cash to buy something, assume I
know what I am buying. Assume that I am aware of the retail and normal post
market on your product, because I am. Assume that I want to be bargained with
the same as anyone else. Don’t talk down to me and explain what you have like I
am a two year old or why your stuff is worth X like I’ve never held a pair of
dice. I have. Yes, I game with my husband. He often runs. While technically this
makes me “The DM’s wife” I am a player and person on my own. I have spent tons
of money before (more than the average car payment) to get gaming supplies I
like or want for my husband. The second I catch the ‘tone’ coming from someone,
it’s death.
So what happened? I was with other people from my gaming
group. The jerk table seller did not see anyone else besides my husband. When
he was a jerk to me, I not only did not buy the first item I was talking to him
about, I didn’t buy the other $100 dollars in gear I was interested in. Then I
went to my group and asked them to stay away from his table. They did.
When you see a girl, assume that she knows what she is
doing. Treat me the same and I will spend money at your Gamer table, I will ask
my friends to do the same and I will call friends abroad to see if they need
what you have. Piss me off by talking down to me and I will bring you economic
doom.
Again, Darren the actual owner of Imperial Outpost was very
kind to me and even gave me change when I needed, a super kind thing that he
didn’t need to do. Many of the other sellers were kind and gave me some great
deals and overall my experience was wonderful.
Please, don't think I'm defending asinine or sexist idiots in any way, but I do need to point something out about your blog here.
ReplyDeleteYou say, "When I come up to you with cash to buy something, assume I know what I am buying. Assume that I am aware of the retail and normal post market on your product, because I am."
That's wonderful. But after managing retail for 10 years I realized that very, VERY few people actually meet the guidelines you are stating. Most people have almost no clue what they are buying or what they're doing with their money. Now, considering it was a "Gamer's Garage Sale" I would generally go out on a limb and make most of your assumptions, but in a general public setting? Never.
Oh trust me, I understand. I did customer service for many years, and worked in a comic book store for a long wonderful year, which is like a game store. There are new people who are lost, but you can see. What I was not clear about was this guy looked over my shoulder, saw my husband and started talking to me like I was two years old. My friend worked in a video game store and he said often 'Doctor's Wife's' would come in (tall Barbies in designer clothes) and tell him, "I don't know what my husband wants, but pick out $500 worth of stuff for me. Those women exist. But this woman (aka 'me') has a Dark Sun character with enough rank to kick anyone's ass, a library of game books, and needed this figure bag because hers is already full. Those women exist too, and that is pretty damn cool in my humble opinion.
ReplyDeleteSo sad too hear that this happened. Even thought I no longer live in Phoenix I am a long time customer of IO and I Know Darren will take care of this issue to your satisfaction and then some. Please continue to shop and play @ IO and maybe sometime when My wife and I visit we can meet for some Zombie dice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Zack! I just bought stuff there today, and will probably weekly. Darren has been SO sweet about all of this, and it was only one guy that was rude. Everyone else there is sweet. You'll have to teach me how to play Zombie Dice. :>
DeleteAs someone who invests a lot of time covering the gaming industry, I'd simply ask if you chalk the experience at IOG as a couple encounters with the small segment of gamers out there who are obviously socially awkward or seemingly suffering from Asperger's...
ReplyDeleteHappily I can say the influx of women into the hobby (both as gamers as well as working within the industry) is booming; I've seen it firsthand at Origins, Gen Con, SDCC and more. On occasion I've held pub meetups to introduce people to the world of board gaming and find the turnout, more times than not, favored women showing up in the majority.
Over the last decade I think nearly all gamers have become pretty gender blind. That is if they're the types who love the hobby because of the social aspect rather than being uber-focused on the games and nothing else.
Just look at the two dopes you had the misfortune of dealing with in the same vein as a bad experience at a restaurant or gas station - we deal with nitwits all the time in our non-gaming lives and it's just part of life. Luckily it sounds like you and your husband have a good group of friends to kick it with at the gaming table so don't let anyone walk on your buzz!
Thanks, Jeff! I have lots of female friends that game, too. I also feel that being a gamer or comic nerd is more gender neutral. I tried Pathfinder Society at IOG and my first table had three women at it. Then I moved tables and I played with three very kind guys... who all decided to play as women. Which was funny as hell and made me laugh. No, 99.99999% of people are sweet and color blind and gender blind. Thank you for taking the time to post this!
DeleteMadelyn, I too am married to a DM. Most of the time my geek issue is with work not understanding(I work in financial industry, but if you ask how I spent my week-end, be prepared to hear about D&D, SCA, WoW, et al). I assume the geek world is just like the rest, and it will have it's share of chauvinists. Luckily, I don't see it that often with geek friends(since they tend to be a little smarter than your average joe). I am glad the rest of your experience was good. Darren and his crew are a great bunch. Most of regulars are too, typically I just get shock and awe as a female walking in(unless they know me).
ReplyDeleteOMG, so true. It's pretty funny and fun to walk in and see the confusion and then the 'this is cool'. Once you 'speak geek' most of the time you just become one of the crowd, which is wonderful. Darren does a great job. What does your group play the most? We love Warhammer Fantasy RPG best, but have been branching out more and more.
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