I started talking with my friend about food bullies the
other day, and I realized it isn’t a topic I have talked extensively about. Level
1 food bullies are people who just want you to eat this or try that or why can’t
you have a sip of that? Level 2 food bullies are a little more hostile, making
comments about people who don’t eat cheese, or how you can’t be a foodie if you
don’t use animal products. Level 3 food bullies do things like take you to a restaurant
called the Slaughterhouse for your own graduation party after you become vegan
and you can’t eat anything. True story. I’ll briefly share my own food bully
nightmare.
I was dating someone, I’ll call him TB. TB’s parents were
WASPs and very glad their flighty, artistic son was dating someone, let alone someone in college who seemed semi put together.
I had an alternate religion to theirs; this was a source of delight. I think
they started planning our wedding after the first date. Six months into our
long distance relationship, I made the decision to go vegan. I would no longer
eat anything that came from an animal. Simple, right? Wrong. Those WASPs turned
on me like I killed a human baby in a satanic ritual. They didn’t want me
eating my green salad next to their chicken sandwiches, or to have my
cheeseless bean burrito on the same table with their red meat chili burritos.
The idea of veganism offended them. When I went to see them after graduating
and giving the commencement speech for my college they wanted to celebrate by
taking me to a ‘special restaurant’. I thought for one night they might take me
to a place where I could eat in comfort, but they took me to a place called the
Slaughter House that was just that. All I had was a naked baked potato from a
microwave, while they ate sides of animal. I couldn’t leave because I didn’t
remember the address of the apartment I was staying in and I was in shock. In
hindsight I should have left and went to the airport, then had my things sent
to me. Needless to say, since he was there eating with his parents, TB and I
broke up. I met Jason two years later. I am eternally glad that his parents
weren’t that rude and he did nothing – it sped up our breakup. But the level of
hate against my choice to be vegan was staggering.
My friend’s boyfriend is going through something similar. He
travels to his job sight and is in a small town. He is trying to make the
choice to eat better for health, but his friends tease and bully him. Why can’t
he have two Jack in the Box burgers? Why not bacon, eggs, and biscuits and
gravy for breakfast? Is he a ‘real man’? These words hurt and they make it that
much more difficult to do what is right for you and your body.
But let me turn the mirror around, as well. Sometimes, as
vegans, we ‘know’ what is right. I cannot condone the slaughter or imprisonment
or torture of an animal for my food. I will not and I cannot. However, the
moment I start yelling at someone for having a chicken breast, or egg, or glass
of cow milk, I lose them. Think about it. What is more appealing – a well made
vegan cupcake or a Peta flier? I am not dismissing the work others do, but I
try to practice compassion towards all living things, including those who make
different food choices.
I see other vegans ranting about meat eaters, but other
vegans ranting about the use of oil in cooking and even eating vegan cheese. I stop
listening when people always tell me that I am bad and I cannot be the only
one. When someone asks me why I am vegan, I say that I choose not to eat animal
products, and offer them some of what I am eating. I think this approach
fosters dialogue.
Food bullies are out there, but stay strong against the ones
trying to push you down. You’re making the right choices for you. Just
remember, others are making the right choices for them.
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