Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Changing Experience of Being a Girl Geek



I have been a geek or nerd or whatever you want to call it for 36 years. I am only 35. How does this work? My mom is a geek who and comic nerd. She always has been (yay for the comics mom kept and passed on from her earliest days of collecting!). She saw Star Wars while she was still pregnant with me so I could go, then took me back when I was two weeks old so I could tell everyone later that I saw Star Wars in theater. As soon as I could walk, we would go to Circle K and she would always scrape together the money to buy me Indiana Jones and Star Wars comics, then I would sit on her lap and she would read them to me. No matter what else happened – I had my comics. My Christmases and birthdays passed with  Star Wars, GI Joe and Transformers. Needless to say, all my friends were boys.

By the time I was 14 I was working in a comic book store. In the era before the internet I memorized the Overstreet Price Guide and Wizard hot list like religious texts. I started building my comic collection and soon I was putting in the Diamond distribution orders for my shop. My mom, the owners wife and I were the only women I saw come in to get comics.

 
When I was 19 I started going to Comic Con International. At that time, when you said Comic Con, it ONLY meant San Diego. It was also a comic book convention. Celebrities came, but the roamed the floor like everyone else. I saw a few more women there, but the year I first went there was a survey. The ratio of men to women? 30 to 1. Things have changed. I stopped collecting comics actively a while ago, but now talking to friends and looking at convention pictures it is getting to be more and more of an even split.

Now, I am a gamer. At my table we have 2-4 women in any of our regular groups. I see other women at game shops all the time, and mothers buying game stuff for their little girls. We are building our own geek girl army!

And men’s reaction has changed. When I moved back to Phoenix from Portland where I was running my comic shop I needed a place to get my fix. At that time, I was spending $50-100+ dollars a week on comics. Back then, they were $1 each roughly. I knew my comic books up and down and sideways. But, the first time I walked into Atomic Comics (wearing a X-Men t-shirt) the manager said “The Barbie Comics are in the corner, sweetie”. I called him an asshole and challenged him to a game of comic trivia. He lost in the first round. I left without a purchase and didn’t come back for years, until that guy was gone.

When I first married, one of my husband’s friends said women shouldn’t play. They’re no longer friends. Another guy joined our group and made comments about female gamers not understanding. He was gently excused from the group as well.

BUT…. For every guy that feels women are not ‘proper geeks’ there are at least 1000 that would walk through the fires of hell to get you a character sheet or comic book. I have met more kind, loving, generous men being a geek than I can count. My gamer guys will drive over to my house at midnight, we have all raced to a friend’s house when it caught fire, we’ve all been there for each other. They’re great guys. The girls in my group are awesome, too, but just wanted to give a shout out to all the great gamer men.

I think no matter what type of group it is, the in group (in this case men who game)will always have a tiny minority that don’t like the rise of the minority (women). But, there are lots of guys who are quite happy about it. If you date a gamer chick she is less likely to eye with suspicion the bills from the game store, but she might borrow your new dice. Just be warned.

The geek community is changing. There are more women. There are advantages all around with that, and most guys see it. For the very few that don’t, it’s ok. Westboro Baptists are always looking for new people to hang with. ;>

 And thanks for all the support everyone. Love and Hugs. :>  

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