The Long Term Costs of Quick Fixes - A personal entry about sugar and money

Today I feel a thousand years old, and not in a cool ‘Dark Sun Sorcerer King’ way. I used my Tarte maracuja oil concealer on the bags under my eyes and they just flipped me off. I still looked like I was carrying a few Coach purses somewhere between my eyes and my cheek. There are a few reasons I feel pretty world weary, we don’t need to get into them here. What is hard is this time I am trying to get by without my two favorite coping mechanisms – eating and shopping.

There is something about being exhausted, hurt and angry that just makes you want to run for something with sugar. There are many good reasons for this. Sugar boosts your serotonin levels temporarily, which literally gives you a happy burst. Sugar can also be addictive since our brains are hardwired genetically to crave anything sweet since greater calories gave an evolutionary advantage. However, these temporary boosts are fraught with danger.  A greater quantity of calories no longer gives us a genetic advantage. Instead, it gives us excess weight that can lead to depression and even life threatening illness.

Spending money on an item I have been wanting also gives me a boost. Usually this is a rush of adrenaline followed by a happy feeling that I now have the makeup/book that I have been wanting. Unfortunately, too much can lead to a room that is out of control and a general feeling that my money could go elsewhere – like the bank. I have made a huge effort to cut my spending down to a very controlled allowance driven schedule.

So here I sit, laptop open and thinking too hard about too many things and people. I also have hormones off the charts (thanks, Mother Nature!) all of which are making me wish I could reach for a nice vegan chocolate brownie or buy the eyeliner set I have been craving forever, and that wonderful sale on eyeshadow is only on for another few hours! How can I resist 3 eyeshadow pallets for $25 dollars? The horror of it all!

It’s not easy but I am hanging in there. I am thinking about a makeup binge in the future when the winter holiday sets come out. Every penny saved is a penny earned, there. I also realize that every calorie spent unwisely takes me more and more away from my ultimate goal of fitting back in my one pair of expensive jeans, which happen to be a size three. They have been in storage so long they’re out of fashion but by the time I get rid of enough weight to fit back in, they’ll probably be right back in vogue.

You pay a double price for the temporary fixes, but the real fixes are hard fought and take time. Still, that is what makes those real fixes worth it. I’ll remind myself of that until the cravings pass and the sale is off my eyeshadow.